Harry Bernard Stokes lll, Harry Bernard Stokes, III was a man of many nicknames: B.J. (short for “Bernie Jr.”), Boona or Boonie (given by his mother for how fast he swam in her womb—short for Scuba-Boona), Main Man, Special One (from his paternal grandmother), Gentle Giant, and simply “B.” His name honors his father and grandfather, Harry Bernard Stokes, Sr. and Jr., respectively.

It wasn’t so much what you called him, but rather the certainty you felt when you called on him—you knew he would be there. His constancy, humor, and kindness gave all who knew him great assurance that everything was, and would be, okay. He was a loving and generous husband, father, brother, grandson, nephew, cousin, uncle, friend, educator, musician, band leader, and mentor.

Harry had a quick and dry wit that made people adore him. Inappropriate humor was one of his favorite things to enjoy, along with a healthy obsession with (and this is in no particular order) Marvel and DC comic characters, football, and Disney movies. But his deepest and earliest passion was music. From a young age, B.J. could play songs he heard on the radio by ear—so well that his family sometimes thought the music was coming from a skipping CD, when in fact it was six-year-old Harry playing. His paternal grandmother, Lynita Stokes, who played piano and organ for her church, was so struck by his gift that she declared, “Only B.J. can touch my piano.” She later left both instruments to him when she transitioned.

Harry was the youngest child of the union between Harry Bernard Stokes, Jr., and Leslie Kirsten James Stokes, born on January 14, 1985. He had one sister, Melissa Shawn Stokes Beasley, to whom he was very close—his lifelong cheerleader and protector. His passion for music grew alongside his love for teaching and inspiring others, igniting that same spark in his students. He lived his life embracing both callings fully, using every moment to infuse musicianship, humor, love, and integrity into all he did.

Born in Baltimore, Maryland, Harry received his formal education in the Baltimore City Public Schools and graduated from Baltimore City College Senior High School. Harry's love of music started to blossom even more in middle school with his introduction to the bass saxophone, surprising his family with the mastery of the instrument with solos in the concert band. During high school, Harry’s focus shifted from one love to another became even more evident. Standing at 6’4” and 215 pounds, B.J. was an agile athlete who played football and drew attention from college scouts for his size and speed. He had also played baseball on the Little League team coached by his father and even practiced karate at one point. But everything changed when he discovered the City College Marching Knights—and the tuba. It was love at first sight, and the two became inseparable.

This newfound love redirected his path from football scholarships to opportunities in music and band, eventually leading him to Elizabeth City State University, where he earned dual Bachelor’s degrees in Education and Music Industry. North Carolina became his new home, and the friendships he formed there grew into lifelong bonds. Following in the footsteps of his mother and grandmother, Lydia James, Harry was drawn to education. Though he briefly pursued music production, he soon realized that teaching music brought him just as much joy as creating it.

The spark of excitement in a student who mastered a new technique or performance meant everything to him. Harry taught in Washington County and Durham Public Schools, including Plymouth High School and Southern School of Energy and Sustainability, respectively. There he cultivated and led the Plymouth Viking and Southern Spartan marching bands. During summers and after-school hours, he taught at band camps, spending most of his breaks arranging music and collaborating with his best friend Wayne Holloway and his mentee, J’Kobe Brooks. He was also the unofficial “band transportation” for students who lacked rides, refusing to let logistics be a barrier to any child’s love for music. Harry served as an advisor for many graduates and is remembered by countless students as their favorite teacher. His diligence, compassion, and creativity are deeply imprinted on the hearts of his students and colleagues.

It was through the union of Wayne and Chawanda Holloway—his dear friends—that Harry reconnected with fellow ECSU alum and the love of his life, Morgan Ray. They quickly discovered how much they shared and built a relationship grounded in laughter, faith, and deep affection. Through Morgan, Harry embraced his most cherished role as a father to Taylor Ray Faison. Harry and Morgan were married on June 5, 2022, and he adored being Taylor’s father—escorting her to father-daughter dances, cheering her on in her athletic and academic pursuits, and celebrating every moment of her life. He had long prepared for this role through his love and care for his younger cousins and his two beloved nieces, Ryan and Rhys.

Harry was active in the band community and among his peers and colleagues, always known for his encouragement and integrity. Harry gave his life to Christ at an early age at Southern Baptist Church in Baltimore, Maryland. He had a strong relationship with God, and though he had yet to find a new church home in North Carolina, he faithfully attended New Psalmist Baptist Church in Baltimore—both in person when visiting and virtually from home.

Even while facing health challenges, including recovery from a kidney transplant, Harry’s devotion to teaching and mentoring never wavered. He continued to support his students’ access to music education throughout his healing process. On the evening of October 27, 2025, Harry gained his beautiful wings and entered his eternal rest, leaving behind an immeasurable legacy as a music educator, husband, father, son, brother, and friend.

He is preceded in death by his grandparents, Lynita and Harry Stokes Sr., and Lydia and Joseph James Jr., as well as his uncles Terry and Tyrone, and his aunt Lynne. He leaves to cherish his memory his loving wife, Morgan Ray Stokes; daughter, Taylor Ray-Faison; parents, Leslie and Harry Stokes; his father-in-law Leon Ray, and mother-in-law Shenethia Ray, his sister and brother-in-law, Melissa and Twone Beasley; sister- and brother-in-law, Ashley Ray-Boop and Tyler Boop; aunts and uncles Joseph James, III (Linda), Shawn James, Susan James, Jamie Kinney (Steven), Craig Stokes, Karen Kent (Michael), and Donna Queen; beloved friends Wayne and Chawanda Holloway; cousin-brothers Timothy Shawn James (Anjelica); and Christopher Williams (Allison). He will most assuredly be missed by his two nieces, Ryan and Rhys Beasley (Melissa), as well as a host of other adopted nieces and nephews, cousins, relatives, and friends who will forever hold his memory in their hearts.

Funeral Arrangements:
Funeral Service: Tuesday, November 11, 2025 | Wake :11:30 am | Funeral: 12 noon

Place of Service: Union Baptist Church, 904 N. Roxboro St. Durham, NC.

Interment: Markham Memorial Gardens

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